Sexual desire is a normal part of any healthy relationship. It not only fulfills physical needs but also promotes emotional bonding and connection. In such a healthy relationship, sexual and lustful thoughts are satiated after a point.
But what happens if you don’t stop at this point of satiation? What happens if you make a habit of indulging your lustful impulses? What happens if you don’t learn how to stop lusting?
Lustful thoughts, if uncontrolled, lead to lustful actions. These actions may not be the best way to meet your emotional and physical needs in the long term. Lustful thoughts can also compel you to indulge in sexual misadventures – putting your health and happiness at risk.
Most importantly, if you don’t know how to avoid lust, your mind will be easily distracted, and instead of doing activities you truly like, you will end up wasting precious time and energy.
Introduction
Human beings are often the sum of their thoughts and desires. Because, subconsciously our thoughts and desires dictate our actions. Nothing we do is random – even our most impulsive actions have their seed in an emotion that we feel strongly.
Lust, in particular, is a very powerful emotion that can influence our thoughts and actions. So, if you do not know how to control lust, it can compel you towards sinful actions. If you can not learn how to stop lusting, it can affect your relationships and overall well-being.
Lust or sexual desire is a key human trait. It is not an emotion you should be scared of. But you must learn how to control lustful thoughts and make them a healthy part of your committed relationships.
What is Lusting?
Lust begins with an awareness of sexual attraction to another person’s body. If you choose to fixate on this awareness, it triggers lustful thoughts that create a craving for a sexual connection or sexual gratification with that person.
Lustful thoughts are an overwhelming feeling of craving that dominates your thoughts and emotions. Lustful thoughts are not only triggered by the physical presence of a person. Sometimes, just words or explicit images are enough to create sexual desires and urges.
Cause of Lustful Thoughts
Lustful thoughts are triggered by exposure to a visual image or wording that creates a craving for sexual gratification.
Science has found that lustful thoughts are tied to your brain’s reward system. Hormones such as testosterone (which influences your libido) and dopamine (pleasure and motivation) are associated with lustful thoughts. These hormones create a strong urge and sexual excitement that will cloud your judgment.
The cause of lustful thoughts is not only internal but also external.
Research agrees that most human behaviours are initiated automatically and unconsciously in response to environmental cues. Your environment is not just the physical world you live in but also the mental and psychological space that surrounds you. Even words can act as cues for lustful thoughts.
How to Control Lust? 12 Ways to Control Lustful Thoughts
Lustful thoughts are a behavior pattern. If you don’t address them early, your mind can form a habit of lustful thoughts. So, here are 12 ways to control lustful thoughts –
- Identify your triggers – We are often impulsive in behaviour and fail to identify the thoughts or emotions behind the behaviour. That’s why we feel like we do not have any control over our lustful thoughts. So, you must identify the specific things that trigger lustful thoughts in you. Your triggers could be words, images, or even emotions like stress. When you identify your lust trigger, it gives you the power to control your reaction to it.
- Stop judging – It is natural to feel guilty about having lustful thoughts. But guilt and shame are negative emotions that do not propel you towards positive action. These emotions are more likely to make you feel helpless and alone. Instead, have a little insight into your weakness for lust.
- Meditation and Mindfulness – Meditation and mindfulness habits help you distance yourself from your lustful thoughts. When you are more in touch with your feelings, you can consciously pull your focus away from them. Most importantly, meditation will help you calm your agitated mind and give clarity when lustful thoughts are assaulting you.
- Find healthy distractions – Resisting lustful thoughts is emotionally draining. It can make you feel like you are always playing a defensive game. To feel more empowered, find healthy distractions to engage your mind. Exercising or spending time with friends is a good idea. You can also find a safe hobby that will take your thoughts away from lust.
- Establish boundaries – You can define your boundaries online and offline to create a safe space. These boundaries will help you avoid exposure to lustful thoughts or images. Don’t feel guilty or feel the FOMO for not doing what everyone else is doing. It is ok to prioritize your health over fitting in.
- Get physically active – Our sedentary lifestyles are a major culprit behind our hormonal fluctuations. So, get moving – even if it is just going for a walk or a game of tennis with your buddies. Physical activity boosts hormones such as dopamine and serotonin. These happy hormones help you avoid lustful thoughts by eliminating feelings of stress and boredom.
- Take up a spiritual practice – Spiritual practices such as prayer and reading scripture will help you find guidance to get rid of lustful thoughts. All spiritual practices stress self-awareness and self-discipline. Both of these qualities are crucial in emotional regulation and shifting your focus away from lustful thoughts.
- Make sleep a priority – The quality of your sleep determines how well you can focus during the day. Research has found direct links between sleep deprivation to poor self control and focus. Poor sleep depletes your ability to resist temptations. A good night’s sleep helps you take charge of your thoughts and guide them in constructive ways. Develop a healthy sleep habit (7+ hours, avoiding screens at bedtime, early dinner) for a willpower boost to avoid lustful thoughts.
- Review your other habits – Your appetites are correlated, and they affect each other. On the positive side, when you bring discipline and moderation into one area of your life, it will most likely spill over to other areas and habits. So, examine the areas of your life where you are indulging in addictive and compulsive behaviour. When you take control of such a habit, it will get easier for you to resist lustful thoughts.
- Have long-term goals – Lust and lustful thoughts occupy your mind when you leave it idle. Instead find a long-term goal – It could be doing an online course or competing in a marathon. Find the goal that will take up your physical and emotional energies for at least a few hours of the day.
- Find support – Controlling lustful thoughts is a lifelong journey. But you do not have to do it alone. You can get help from friends and family to make your life a little less stressful. There is also no shame in seeking professional help like counselling and therapy for learning to control lust.
- Choose your friends wisely – A famous saying goes, ‘You are the average of your five best friends’. If your friends have a habit of indulging in lustful thoughts and habits, you will also be at risk of developing them. So, find like-minded friends who have virtuous and healthy habits.
How can BlockP help in Lustful thoughts?
We live in a hyper-sexualized digital world. Many people and products rely on creating desirability by triggering your lustful thoughts because lust is a powerful and charged emotion.
Social media platforms and the advertisers are always finding new ways to create a lust-inducing environment to influence you.
You cannot completely abstain from your gadgets and online life. You have to use your phone and laptop whether it is for work or for connecting with your loved ones. BlockP helps in lustful thoughts by protecting you from online triggers that create lustful thoughts.
BlockP makes your digital devices a safe space where you don’t have to stress over avoiding lustful thoughts.
BlockP helps you identify your specific triggers and gives you custom blocking options. It ensures that explicit content is blocked in real-time across your devices. Additionally, you can also review your online activity and identify triggers that you might not have noticed before.
FAQs on How to Control Lust?
1. What is the difference between Lust and Love?
Lust and love are both strong emotions with roots in passion and attachment. It is easy to mistake one for the other. Here is how you can tell whether you are feeling lust or love –
- Love is an enduring emotion that focuses on depth and security. It takes time to grow and intensifies over time. Lust can feel intense and powerful, but if given time and distance, it will usually pass.
- Lust originates from a physical desire for sexual gratification. And it focuses on immediate pleasure. In contrast, love occurs from a desire to know the person as a whole – not just their physical attributes. Love focuses on the values, personality, and emotional depth of the person.
- Long-term commitment is a key feature of love. When you are in love with a person, you want to build a relationship with them. Lust has no long-term vision. It craves immediate gratification.
- Lust is a superficial desire for connection. So, the object of your lust can be easily replaced by another. But love is a deeper emotion based on intimacy and shared experiences. So, it can not be easily transferred from person to person.
- Lust is an instantaneous emotion. An initial physical attraction is enough to trigger feelings of lust in you. On the other hand, love grows over time and at a much slower rate.
2. What is the impact of lustful work?
Lustful work refers to a work environment which actively triggers and encourages lustful thoughts. These thoughts corrode your mind and soul, eventually compelling you to indulge inappropriate behaviors.
Lustful work is a toxic work environment because it objectifies people and creates a sense of discomfort. Such an environment damages professional relationships and negatively affects performance. Research shows that even romantic relationships at work can lower job performance.
The inappropriate actions resulting from a lustful work environment can result in sexual harassment and inappropriate behavior at the workplace. It can destroy your reputation and also negatively affect your family dynamics.
3. Why are living entities entangled with material modes of nature?
The concept of entanglement between material modes and living entities originates in Hindu philosophy. Hinduism believes that your soul is pure and eternal. But, when it enters the material world, it experiences entanglement with modes of nature. These entanglements will shape your physical body, its attachments, and desires.
Bhagavad Gita says that three qualities influence living beings in the material modes of nature –
- Sattva or Goodness is pure and auspicious. It gives you happiness, knowledge, and virtue. A sattva-dominated person will have the ideal state of detachment from the material body and mind.
- Rajas or passion causes strong feelings of attachment, separation, and anxiety. It compels you to pursue fortune and prestige in the material world.
- Ignorance or Tamas covers your conscious mind and makes you dull and foolish. The illusion of Tamas can invoke false hopes and violent tendencies.
Bhagavad Gita prescribes Bhakti Yoga, or the practice of devotion, as the way out of material modes of entanglement. You can try prayer, chatting, and reading scriptures to free your mind from the grip of Sattva, Rajas, and Tamas.
3. How to control lust as a Christian
Christianity considers lust as one of the 7 deadly sins. The Bible has many verses that clearly condemn lust –
- But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5;28)
- Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. (1 Peter 2:11)
- For lust is a shameful sin, a crime that should be punished. (Job 31:11-12)
The Bible advises that you should abstain from not only lustful acts but also lustful thoughts and intent. Here is what the Bible tells you how to control lust as a Christian –
- Avoid temptation – Physically flee and actively avoid the situations which trigger lustful thoughts in you. Your thoughts and desires originate in your heart. So, you should guard it against lustful thoughts.
- Pray for strength – Prayer helps you get God’s guidance and strength. Many times, we feel weak and helpless in front of lust. But scripture and conversation with God will help to keep your heart pure.
- Renew your mind – Lustful thoughts corrupt your mind into sinful actions. Replace the lustful thoughts in your mind with thoughts about honourable and pure things. Meditate on the scripture and the word of God.