Porn, as a notional concept, is not wrong. Technically, it’s also not illegal for teens to view it. However, it is illegal for anyone to show a minor porn, and any form of distributing child porn is also illegal, as it well should be.
Even though porn is lawful and easily available nowadays, it is highly recommended to exercise vigilance while consuming it. Porn can be a wonderful way to understand your fantasies and cause arousal, and many people watch porn with no negative effect on their lives. But porn does include some ethical and emotional obstacles that you should avoid whenever possible.
Is Watching Porn Normal?
Porn is something that most of us, at some point in life, must have watched. However, there are numerous people, particularly male youth, across the entire globe who are addicted to watching Pornographic content on the WWW (World Wide Web). There are several views regarding the consumption of Pornography.
Is watching porn ok? Some believe that it is quite normal to watch it while some argue that watching excessive porn is addictive and can lead to serious health-related consequences.
In general, people may turn towards porn as a means to fulfill the different types of fantasies that might be lacking in their lives. Sometimes it might feel safer to watch the content to explore a particular fantasy than it would to attempt something related in real life.
Many people who view pornography on a regular basis tend to do so because there is some sort of positive result they associate with it. One large-scale study found that many participants felt that pornography had helped their lives in some way, which suggests that at least a fraction of the population may view pornographic content as a means to meet their needs.
Why Do People Watch Porn?
According to a team of researchers, only 5.94% of porn consumers in their study said that they watch porn because of a lack of sexual satisfaction.
What are the reasons why people watch porn? Let’s take a look.
1. Arousal
This comes as no surprise, but the top reason why people watch porn is for sexual pleasure, according to a study. Plus, out of all the explanations, this is the one porn is produced explicitly for.
2. Education
For young people, understanding how sex works is a typical reason to turn to porn. In fact, one study shows that approximately 45% of teens who consumed porn did so in part to learn about sex. Similarly, survey results also show one in four 18 to 24-year-olds (24.5%) listed pornography as the most helpful source to learn how to have sex.
3. Coping with negative emotions
Some researchers specifically identify “stress reduction” and “emotional distraction or suppression” as motivations for consuming porn.
To escape these feelings, a person may turn to porn. It seems like a quick fix for temporary loneliness, but at best, it’s a cheap distraction, and at worse, porn only fuels those feelings
4. Boredom
Our digital world has done a pretty good job of providing endless amounts of entertainment and distractions for those who can’t stand a moment of idleness. And of course, porn is included in this bundle.
5. Porn can be difficult to quit
When considering why some people consume porn, it’s important to recognize their struggles. Many don’t want to rely on porn but can’t break the habit. Even people who are actively trying to quit porn still find themselves falling back into the habit from time to time.
What Happens if You Watch Porn Regularly?
Now that you know the answer to “Is watching porn normal?” here is what could happen if you watch porn regularly.
Here are three somewhat unexpected and surprising effects of consuming porn, and porn addiction.
1. Pornography Removes You from Reality and Your Physical Sensations
One of pornography’s largest influences on men is desensitization. It’s a similar process that occurs when watching or playing a glut of violent movies and video games over time. The brain begins to change its perceptions of what it considers normal and acceptable, leading to a skewed concept of reality.
2. Pornography Addiction Is Similar to Other Harmful Addictions
Like hard drugs or gambling, pornography consumption can represent an escape from reality, a way to deal with stress or even just a quick hit of dopamine at inopportune times. As such, each of these vices can easily lead to full-blown addiction.
3. Pornography Consumption Brings Both Physical and Emotional Effects
Perhaps most concerning for many men is the effect pornography can have on erectile dysfunction and other sexual dysfunctions like delayed ejaculation or impotence. A recent study links increased pornography use to increased cases of erectile dysfunction and the probability that men would have trouble getting and maintaining an erection.
When Does Watching Porn Become A Problem?
While pornography is used by both men and women, there is little doubt that it is primarily men who become hooked on it. Men’s brains are wired in such a way that pornography hijacks the proper functioning of their brains and has a long-lasting effect on their thoughts and lives.
Regularly using porn interferes with a person’s ability to maintain good self-esteem and have a mutually rewarding sexual intimacy with his partner. It is very easy to deceive yourself into minimizing the extent of the problem.
Many porn addicts think they can keep their porn use separate from their relationship, but it is almost impossible to be a porn user without it having serious repercussions on their partner and on their relationship.
Unfortunately, rather than creating eroticism in their relationship, porn winds up creating an object that competes with their partner for erotic value.
Symptoms Of Porn Addiction
Porn addicts use pornography to cope with life stressors. They repeatedly and compulsively rely on sexualized imagery to escape (to avoid feeling) emotional discomfort—stress, anxiety, loneliness, depression, shame, boredom, and the like.
1. Porn Use Becomes a Compulsion –
The simple truth is that Individuals who are addicted to pornography feel compelled to look at porn, even when they promise themselves or others that they won’t. Over time, they may organize their lives around pornography.
2. Feelings of shame and guilt –
Porn addicts will tell themselves, “This is the last time that I am going to use pornography.” But in a few days or weeks, they’re right back at it. Sometimes they delete or throw away their entire porn collection and feel great about that. But then, when their pink cloud of relief dissipates, as inevitably occurs, they regret the deletion and scramble to reassemble their collection. Many porn users spin their way through this “beat and delete” cycle for years on end.
3. Experiencing Intense Cravings –
The WHO’s diagnosis of Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder meshes nicely with the criteria Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs) have used for many years to identify and diagnose sex and porn addiction. The short version of those criteria reads as follows:
- Preoccupation to the point of obsession with addictive behavior (in this case, porn use).
- Loss of control over engagement with that behavior, best evidenced by multiple failed attempts to quit or cut back.
- Negative life consequences related to that behavior—troubled relationships, issues at work or in school, declining physical health, depression, anxiety, diminished self-esteem, social and emotional isolation, loss of interest in previously enjoyable hobbies and activities, financial woes, legal problems, etc.
- Even when addicts know their porn use is obsessive, out of control, and creating problems, they continue to crave it whenever they have an uncomfortable emotion. Food addicts crave food. Alcoholics crave booze. Porn addicts crave porn.
4. Excessive Time Spent on Porn
Both research and decades of professional experience indicate that porn addicts typically spend at least 11 or 12 hours per week fantasizing about and looking at (and sometimes masturbating to) pornography. Notably, this 11 or 12 hours per week number can be the low end of the spectrum. Many addicts spend double or even triple that amount of time thinking about and engaging with pornography.
5. Lack of Interest in Usual Activities
Among the negative life consequences experienced by porn addicts is a loss of interest in hobbies and other activities that used to be viewed as fun. As porn use progresses, the dopamine rewards system in the brain down-regulates so that a higher level of stimulus is required to achieve the same pleasure.
6. Loss of Interest in Sex
As mentioned above, male sexual dysfunction is a common consequence of porn addiction. Thanks to heavy porn use, growing numbers of men (of all ages) are suffering from sexual dysfunction, be it erectile dysfunction (ED), delayed ejaculation (DE), or the inability to reach orgasm (anorgasmia).
7. Setting Unrealistic Expectations for Sexual Experiences
Another sexual consequence of porn addiction can be unrealistic sexual expectations of a real-world partner. This is especially likely with younger men, for whom pornography may serve as a form of sexual education. They see something online that a porn actress seems to be enjoying and they decide that’s what sex in the real world is also like.
Porn Can Interfere With Real Relationships
Pornography can undermine trust and communication in a relationship, especially when used in secret. A partner may feel hurt or betrayed, perceiving it as a form of emotional or physical detachment. This erosion of trust can make it difficult to maintain a sense of closeness and security within the relationship. Rebuilding trust requires honesty, open dialogue, and a shared commitment to reconnecting.
Beyond trust, pornography can also affect communication by setting unrealistic expectations. The portrayal of idealized bodies and exaggerated sexual scenarios can lead to self-doubt and insecurity, making it harder for partners to express their needs and feelings openly. Over time, these unspoken concerns can create distance, weakening the emotional and physical bond between them.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Porn
If you feel like your partner’s pornography use is a violation of trust, like it is some sort of infidelity, or feel disgusted and hurt, try these suggestions:
- Take a moment to process things – If you haven’t already had an all-out argument, take a day or a week to think, calm yourself, and prepare for how you will talk to your partner about this. According to John Gottman’s research on couples, the first few minutes of a conversation generally determine the outcome. Start your conversation right!
- Remember: this is not your fault – Your partner’s pornography use likely is not because he or she finds you unattractive, and it is also probably not because you have been having sex less frequently.
- Ask questions about pornography use – Attempt to have a mature and calm conversation about your partner’s use. How long has this been going on? How often does he or she look at pornography? What kind of pornography does he/she look at? Does he/she pay for it? Does he/she use interactive websites or passive videos? How does he/she feel about his/her use?; try your best to simply gather information.
- Tell your partner what pornography use means to you – Talk about feelings of betrayal, jealousy, or shame. Talk about your insecurities. Talk about your fear that this will slide into another form of betrayal, secrecy, or sexual infidelity.
- Come up with a plan. Talk about where you go from here. Assuming it’s what you want, is your partner promising to quit? Is your partner defensive and feeling like he or she shouldn’t have to stop? Can you agree on a plan? If not, consider seeking a couples or marital therapist to help you come up with a compromise.
Do I have a Porn addiction?
While porn addiction is a behavioral addiction according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), porn addiction symptoms are similar to that of substance use disorders (SUDs).
Viewing pornography doesn’t automatically mean that a porn addiction is present. However, like anything else, when not done in moderation, excessive pron viewing can lead to dependence and addiction.
Being able to identify the signs and symptoms of porn addiction correctly is crucial, especially if you think that you or a loved one may have a problem. Porn addiction is treatable with counseling, therapy, and other treatment methods.
Here are the top signs of porn addiction to watch for in your partner or other loved one:
- Compulsive behavior: they feel they need or have to watch porn and spend excessive time doing it
- Trouble in sexual relationships: porn viewing may interfere with their sex life
- Effects on mental health issues: they watch porn so much or so often that it causes mental health issues or worsens existing mental health disorders
- Effects on physical health: they miss sleep, ignore hygiene, lose weight, etc., due to their porn addiction
- Porn as a coping mechanism: they use porn to cope with other life issues, like stress, erectile dysfunction, relationship troubles, or trauma
- Self-esteem issues: they seem down, have low self-esteem, act guilty, or look distraught much of the time
- Porn withdrawal symptoms: they act irritable, annoyed, or otherwise unable to function when not using porn
How do I quit porn?
One of the first major steps one can take in overcoming pornography is to shift their mindset from the removal of the bad to the addition of the good.
1. Change Your Views
Before any steps towards triumph can be taken, one must recognize that they are worth it and that they can succeed. The stigma surrounding pornography addiction is nonsense and we need to stop seeing those struggling with it as broken, especially if that is ourselves.
2. Find a Support System
It is imperative that someone struggling with this addiction has a supportive individual to whom they are accountable. The issue needs to be addressed and progress evaluated each day while always maintaining hope and love. Just being transparent and open about the struggle takes one’s mind off of it and it is easier to move forward.
3. Implement Neurological Strategies
We often forget that this struggle is neurological. Pornography causes the dopaminergic reward center to light up intensely, resulting in what can become a consuming addiction. The brain will not feel satisfied until other strategies are incorporated and become habitual, delivering the appeasement the brain craves. Viewing pornography first fires the parasympathetic tone (rest and digest), followed immediately by the sympathetic tone (fight or flight) of the autonomic nervous system. It is important to replace this pattern with another that still gives the brain similar activation.
4. Other Neurological Exercises
There are also other therapies and exercises that can be done to help balance the autonomic nervous system and lessen the need for stimulation from pornography use.
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